To quote my favorite bloggers, the 20-Nothings, "So the bad news is that the number one American regret involves missed or failed opportunities at love and relationships."
Why does this matter to me?
My good pal, Fred, didn't talk to me for over 21 hours. I know, shocking right? Some flirty texts that began as of 8am yesterday petered off around 1pm, and the next message from him was at 11:30 am today. Nearly a day of not hearing from him and I'm freaking out, wondering if he took a long nap after work and slept until the next day, or worst case- he was in a horrible accident and I need to be at his bedside. Snap out of it girl.... In reality, he said he went out with a friend last night. So fine, no reason to panic. I only sent one text in those 20+ hours between 1pm and today, casually asking how his afternoon at work was.
The proble,- It's just that it felt strange not to talk to him at all for one night, like something was missing. Which leads me to the simple conclusion- I have really fallen for him. But if I say how much it bothered me not to talk to him, I drift into crazy stalker girl territory. We're not in a relationship, so I kind of have no right to be this bothered, but I am. So I stay quiet and cool. For now.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Love or Something Like It?
I make no excuses. I'm not a romantic. I'm not big on lovey dovey crap. But this song gives me faith that something might be out there for all of us. Every time I listen to it, I get chills (and considering it's moved up to fourth most played song on my ipod in 24 hours, that's a lot of chills). Sara Ramirez packs this song full of power, angst, love- the whole nine yards. The joy on her face as she sings.
The complete package.
Check "first dance" off my wedding to do list.
Friday, March 25, 2011
How do you know? - Movie vs. Life
I just finished watching the Reese Witherspoon/Paul Rudd (and Owen Wilson) movie, "How Do You Know?" Now, the movie was about 2 hours, and at times the movie is a bit intense at times, but I really liked it.Why? It was hones,t true, to life, and at times fumblingly awkward but adorable. It raised some important points:
- Sometimes you really like someone but they don't make you happy.
- Sometimes you word vomit in front of someone when you want to play it cool.
- Sometimes meals are nice when they're 100% quiet.
- Sometimes talking to a near stranger about your life craziness can be the best thing.
- Sometimes you fall for the person you least plan to fall for.
- Sometimes your crazy "I think this is in private" freak-out can work to your advantage and make you seem crazy-adorable instead of crazy.
The greatest strength of this movie is that everyone was having a rough time. Between the varied issues of failed careers, relationships, crumbling family life, pregnancy... everyone has problems, and yes they tend to get in the way of our otherwise smooth lives.
The main characters found each other at not-so ideal times, but they really needed that person in their life. They often spoke in half-sentences, mutters, and wished they could rewrite conversations. The self-doubt that was on the surface of each character: Reese's showing up at Owen's apartment and asking to stay the night and not be asked about any crying or cuddling, Paul Rudd asking Reese (after he kissed her) if she had come downstairs to tell him not to wait for her, Owen leaving Reese a message where he says she can't see how sad he is (and he takes a photo with his phone to text her).
So, How do you know if someone likes you?
I'm guessing you often don't. Relationships are hard. Love is hard. Talking about your feelings (big shocker here people- is also hard). Unless you ask and be a little insane (see Paul Rudd staring at Reese through the window of the taxi she is sitting in- and her promptly telling him to stop staring at her like that). But there are times when you realize (miracle of miracles) that someone really does care for you. This movie offered a completely touching (and not overly sappy) scene where PRudds goes to find out if there is any chance between he and Reese.
Spoiler alert! PRudds shows up at Reese's lavish birthday party that her boyfriend is throwing for her, and he asks to talk to her on the beautifully decorated terrace. She has already been presented with a totally lavish watch (that is so not her) by the boyfriend, who says its a pre-engagement present. His dad gave his mom a watch and bam!- 7 years later they got engaged. PRudds got her a can of play dough and told her a sweet story about how it came to be a kids toy after it was originally used to clean walls. His final part of the story: its a great present for her because it shows that we're all one small turn away from getting the right fit. Conclusion- He gets her. He maybe even COMPLETES HER (Love Jerry McGuire)! She realizes she can be herself, totally herself (even taking an excruciating about of time to open her wrapping paper) with PRudds. Isn't that all we want? I know I do.
- Sometimes you really like someone but they don't make you happy.
- Sometimes you word vomit in front of someone when you want to play it cool.
- Sometimes meals are nice when they're 100% quiet.
- Sometimes talking to a near stranger about your life craziness can be the best thing.
- Sometimes you fall for the person you least plan to fall for.
- Sometimes your crazy "I think this is in private" freak-out can work to your advantage and make you seem crazy-adorable instead of crazy.
The greatest strength of this movie is that everyone was having a rough time. Between the varied issues of failed careers, relationships, crumbling family life, pregnancy... everyone has problems, and yes they tend to get in the way of our otherwise smooth lives.
The main characters found each other at not-so ideal times, but they really needed that person in their life. They often spoke in half-sentences, mutters, and wished they could rewrite conversations. The self-doubt that was on the surface of each character: Reese's showing up at Owen's apartment and asking to stay the night and not be asked about any crying or cuddling, Paul Rudd asking Reese (after he kissed her) if she had come downstairs to tell him not to wait for her, Owen leaving Reese a message where he says she can't see how sad he is (and he takes a photo with his phone to text her).
So, How do you know if someone likes you?
I'm guessing you often don't. Relationships are hard. Love is hard. Talking about your feelings (big shocker here people- is also hard). Unless you ask and be a little insane (see Paul Rudd staring at Reese through the window of the taxi she is sitting in- and her promptly telling him to stop staring at her like that). But there are times when you realize (miracle of miracles) that someone really does care for you. This movie offered a completely touching (and not overly sappy) scene where PRudds goes to find out if there is any chance between he and Reese.
Spoiler alert! PRudds shows up at Reese's lavish birthday party that her boyfriend is throwing for her, and he asks to talk to her on the beautifully decorated terrace. She has already been presented with a totally lavish watch (that is so not her) by the boyfriend, who says its a pre-engagement present. His dad gave his mom a watch and bam!- 7 years later they got engaged. PRudds got her a can of play dough and told her a sweet story about how it came to be a kids toy after it was originally used to clean walls. His final part of the story: its a great present for her because it shows that we're all one small turn away from getting the right fit. Conclusion- He gets her. He maybe even COMPLETES HER (Love Jerry McGuire)! She realizes she can be herself, totally herself (even taking an excruciating about of time to open her wrapping paper) with PRudds. Isn't that all we want? I know I do.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Mindless Procrastination
Where the hell is my white knight to ride through the library window on his motorcycle and do my homework for me so I can sleep?
#Justsayin #Goodusesformen
Monday, March 14, 2011
Rain- It's Bringing Sexy Back
Since my good friend Java made some solid and real world points about rain not being sexy, I'm bringing the romance aspect back into focus- as I rephrase from my "Summer Rain" post, there are two crucial pieces to kissing in the rain:
A) It must be a warm rain
B) Eventually those wet clothes are going to need to be taken off
(Disclaimer: Several years ago, I was not on the rain kissing side either.)
Water cleans, it renews everything. But it can also destroy and ruin. It's poetic- its tragic, its hot! When the Backstreet Boys got doused with water while belting out "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," (about 1.56 into the song) they became legends. No lie, this sparked infinite debates and arguments with me and my friends back in the middle school days. So here are some deliciously romantic songs about the water and weather:
Downpour- Backstreet Boys
I, I wanna to feel the rain again
I, I wanna to feel the water on my skin
and let it all wash away---
In the downpour,
I wanna feel the rain.
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
I don't mind spending every day,
Out in your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile,
And ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
And she will be loved, she will be loved....
Summer Rain- Matthew Morrison
Tagline: "Let's make love in the summer rain."
See the post: Summer Rain is Sexy
Half Moon Bay- Train
Up in Tiberon where the girls are warm,
We stay inside while the rainclouds form,
And thank god for rainy days like these.
And just when the time has come to retire,
Baby starts crying so we dance by the fire,
It always does the trick- you better believe.
Steal My Kisses-Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals
I love to feel that warm summer rain,
Just to hear it fall is the sweetest sounding thing.
And to see it fall on your simple country dress,
It's like heaven, I must confess.
Fearless- Taylor Swift
There's something 'bout the way the street looks when its just rained,
You walk me to your car and you know I wanna ask you to dance,
Right there in the parking lot yeah....
And I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.
And I don't know -- with you I dance,
In a storm, in my best dress, fearless.
To be continued....
A) It must be a warm rain
B) Eventually those wet clothes are going to need to be taken off
(Disclaimer: Several years ago, I was not on the rain kissing side either.)
Water cleans, it renews everything. But it can also destroy and ruin. It's poetic- its tragic, its hot! When the Backstreet Boys got doused with water while belting out "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," (about 1.56 into the song) they became legends. No lie, this sparked infinite debates and arguments with me and my friends back in the middle school days. So here are some deliciously romantic songs about the water and weather:
Downpour- Backstreet Boys
I, I wanna to feel the rain again
I, I wanna to feel the water on my skin
and let it all wash away---
In the downpour,
I wanna feel the rain.
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
I don't mind spending every day,
Out in your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile,
And ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
And she will be loved, she will be loved....
Summer Rain- Matthew Morrison
Tagline: "Let's make love in the summer rain."
See the post: Summer Rain is Sexy
Half Moon Bay- Train
Up in Tiberon where the girls are warm,
We stay inside while the rainclouds form,
And thank god for rainy days like these.
And just when the time has come to retire,
Baby starts crying so we dance by the fire,
It always does the trick- you better believe.
Steal My Kisses-Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals
I love to feel that warm summer rain,
Just to hear it fall is the sweetest sounding thing.
And to see it fall on your simple country dress,
It's like heaven, I must confess.
Fearless- Taylor Swift
There's something 'bout the way the street looks when its just rained,
You walk me to your car and you know I wanna ask you to dance,
Right there in the parking lot yeah....
And I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.
And I don't know -- with you I dance,
In a storm, in my best dress, fearless.
To be continued....
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Um... But It's Wet: A Counterpoint to the "Kiss In The Rain" Theory
As much as I love my darling Pippeppop, I feel that, like Fox News, we should keep things “fair and balanced.” And thus I shall provide counterpoint to the idea that girls like to kiss in the rain.
Now, to put it bluntly, I am not a romantic. Not in the slightest. I used to be. But after being overly romanced but not really treated all that well by an ex [you know it’s over when you can’t see him without wanting to scream “Man up!”], I don’t buy into all the chick flick crap. Also as a disclaimer, I’m not really into commitment. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, to quote my good friend J, “Woman, you have the dating mentality of a dude. That is why we like you.”
I say this as a disclaimer, because I definitely can understand why some girls like the whole idea of kissing in the rain. Girls who like the romance, the melodrama, the breathless anticipation of the moment before just before, when you’re both separated by only the tiniest drops of rain and the humid air and then *BAM* movie ending kiss.
Let’s think this through rationally, peeps. First off, why are you in the rain to begin with? This is how you get sick. I know this, I'm getting a PhD in the biosciences for fuck's sake. Were you dramatically running away from him, hoping he’ll chase you down? Really? Really? One, I'm judging you a little. Two, be more mature and talk it out. Three, for Christ's sake, take your car. Thus, you will stay dry. Duh.
Speaking of cars, how are you getting home? Now you’re both soaked, which means when you ultimately return home in your vehicle, your car seats are going to get wet. And considering you may have leather seats, think of all the squelchy squishy noises your wet clothes are going to make against the seat. Awks. Farting noises: the easiest way to curb any desire for makeup sex.
Furthermore, I hate being cold. I hate being damp. And if you tried to kiss me in the rain, I’d probably be really grumpy and crabby, and ask you why you brought me out in the rain in the first place. I’d probably call you a dumbass. Because I, for one, would not go wandering out into the rain if I didn’t have to. And if I did, it would be to walk to the aforementioned car, to drive to my final destination.
So to conclude: Being wet is uncomfortable, will make you sick, and ruin your car. So if you’re dumb enough to try and kiss me in the rain, I will probably punch you. And it will probably hurt.
Trust me, I kickbox.
Aside: However, due to my love of Pippeppop, I will share with you the ultimate kiss in the rain song. Which is titled, most aptly, “Kissing in the Rain.” It’s by this sweet indie group called the Broken Family Band, and there’s only one video of it on YouTube, linked above, and it’s a total fan vid from Lost haha. Credit for song discovery must go to our friend M, who is a miracle worker.
Now go enjoy the sexyness that is Josh Holloway in that vid. And for the love of God, if you're gonna kiss in the rain, remember your friggen umbrella.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Playing With My Heart- Part 2
Subtitle: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back, and One to the Side
(no this is not the time warp)
When we left off, I texted Fred after a great night out and said "If i didn't know any better, I'd say you like me........
Fred sees my text and raises me one: I'd say you like me too.
My response: Maybe I do.....
Which led to a long conversation. It took place in two parts.
The endgame:
"I like you and talking to you. You make me happy. I'm not in a place where I want to pursue a relationship right now. I want to keep seeing you and see where it goes."
My first thought, "What? Are you kidding?"
My second:"Why?" (Although he clearly outlined reasons why- job transition, unresolved ex issues)
My third: "I'm kinda not surprised."
My fourth: "I wish Taylor Swift was here right now to lead me in a song."
My fifth: "Where's the candy?"
The sixth thing I thought, back in adult mode: Hmm, honesty, it was quite refreshing. Not the #1 thing I wanted to hear, but direct and not game-ridden. Perhaps men aren't going the way of pagers, as several news outlets and blogs are recently claiming.
The End of Men- The Atlantic Monthly
Where Have All the Good Men Gone?- The Wall Street Journal
Why A Real Man's So Hard to Find? -The New York Post
Sex is Cheap- Slate
Although the 20-Nothings, who I aspire to be one day, offer a great analysis of boys, guys, and men, which I definitely recommend checking out. I've read it a lot lately and compared all the males I know to each of the categories.
Back to Fred....
I did see Fred, again. We enjoyed an afternoon at the mall. We tried on hats, we looked for books, and he bought me ice cream. One weekend, two cheek kisses, three days of confusion.
(no this is not the time warp)
When we left off, I texted Fred after a great night out and said "If i didn't know any better, I'd say you like me........
Fred sees my text and raises me one: I'd say you like me too.
My response: Maybe I do.....
Which led to a long conversation. It took place in two parts.
The endgame:
"I like you and talking to you. You make me happy. I'm not in a place where I want to pursue a relationship right now. I want to keep seeing you and see where it goes."
My first thought, "What? Are you kidding?"
My second:"Why?" (Although he clearly outlined reasons why- job transition, unresolved ex issues)
My third: "I'm kinda not surprised."
My fourth: "I wish Taylor Swift was here right now to lead me in a song."
My fifth: "Where's the candy?"
The sixth thing I thought, back in adult mode: Hmm, honesty, it was quite refreshing. Not the #1 thing I wanted to hear, but direct and not game-ridden. Perhaps men aren't going the way of pagers, as several news outlets and blogs are recently claiming.
The End of Men- The Atlantic Monthly
Where Have All the Good Men Gone?- The Wall Street Journal
Why A Real Man's So Hard to Find? -The New York Post
Sex is Cheap- Slate
Although the 20-Nothings, who I aspire to be one day, offer a great analysis of boys, guys, and men, which I definitely recommend checking out. I've read it a lot lately and compared all the males I know to each of the categories.
Back to Fred....
I did see Fred, again. We enjoyed an afternoon at the mall. We tried on hats, we looked for books, and he bought me ice cream. One weekend, two cheek kisses, three days of confusion.
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