I just finished watching the Reese Witherspoon/Paul Rudd (and Owen Wilson) movie, "How Do You Know?" Now, the movie was about 2 hours, and at times the movie is a bit intense at times, but I really liked it.Why? It was hones,t true, to life, and at times fumblingly awkward but adorable. It raised some important points:
- Sometimes you really like someone but they don't make you happy.
- Sometimes you word vomit in front of someone when you want to play it cool.
- Sometimes meals are nice when they're 100% quiet.
- Sometimes talking to a near stranger about your life craziness can be the best thing.
- Sometimes you fall for the person you least plan to fall for.
- Sometimes your crazy "I think this is in private" freak-out can work to your advantage and make you seem crazy-adorable instead of crazy.
The greatest strength of this movie is that everyone was having a rough time. Between the varied issues of failed careers, relationships, crumbling family life, pregnancy... everyone has problems, and yes they tend to get in the way of our otherwise smooth lives.
The main characters found each other at not-so ideal times, but they really needed that person in their life. They often spoke in half-sentences, mutters, and wished they could rewrite conversations. The self-doubt that was on the surface of each character: Reese's showing up at Owen's apartment and asking to stay the night and not be asked about any crying or cuddling, Paul Rudd asking Reese (after he kissed her) if she had come downstairs to tell him not to wait for her, Owen leaving Reese a message where he says she can't see how sad he is (and he takes a photo with his phone to text her).
So, How do you know if someone likes you?
I'm guessing you often don't. Relationships are hard. Love is hard. Talking about your feelings (big shocker here people- is also hard). Unless you ask and be a little insane (see Paul Rudd staring at Reese through the window of the taxi she is sitting in- and her promptly telling him to stop staring at her like that). But there are times when you realize (miracle of miracles) that someone really does care for you. This movie offered a completely touching (and not overly sappy) scene where PRudds goes to find out if there is any chance between he and Reese.
Spoiler alert! PRudds shows up at Reese's lavish birthday party that her boyfriend is throwing for her, and he asks to talk to her on the beautifully decorated terrace. She has already been presented with a totally lavish watch (that is so not her) by the boyfriend, who says its a pre-engagement present. His dad gave his mom a watch and bam!- 7 years later they got engaged. PRudds got her a can of play dough and told her a sweet story about how it came to be a kids toy after it was originally used to clean walls. His final part of the story: its a great present for her because it shows that we're all one small turn away from getting the right fit. Conclusion- He gets her. He maybe even COMPLETES HER (Love Jerry McGuire)! She realizes she can be herself, totally herself (even taking an excruciating about of time to open her wrapping paper) with PRudds. Isn't that all we want? I know I do.
Showing posts with label relationship questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship questions. Show all posts
Friday, March 25, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Playing With My Heart- Part 2
Subtitle: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back, and One to the Side
(no this is not the time warp)
When we left off, I texted Fred after a great night out and said "If i didn't know any better, I'd say you like me........
Fred sees my text and raises me one: I'd say you like me too.
My response: Maybe I do.....
Which led to a long conversation. It took place in two parts.
The endgame:
"I like you and talking to you. You make me happy. I'm not in a place where I want to pursue a relationship right now. I want to keep seeing you and see where it goes."
My first thought, "What? Are you kidding?"
My second:"Why?" (Although he clearly outlined reasons why- job transition, unresolved ex issues)
My third: "I'm kinda not surprised."
My fourth: "I wish Taylor Swift was here right now to lead me in a song."
My fifth: "Where's the candy?"
The sixth thing I thought, back in adult mode: Hmm, honesty, it was quite refreshing. Not the #1 thing I wanted to hear, but direct and not game-ridden. Perhaps men aren't going the way of pagers, as several news outlets and blogs are recently claiming.
The End of Men- The Atlantic Monthly
Where Have All the Good Men Gone?- The Wall Street Journal
Why A Real Man's So Hard to Find? -The New York Post
Sex is Cheap- Slate
Although the 20-Nothings, who I aspire to be one day, offer a great analysis of boys, guys, and men, which I definitely recommend checking out. I've read it a lot lately and compared all the males I know to each of the categories.
Back to Fred....
I did see Fred, again. We enjoyed an afternoon at the mall. We tried on hats, we looked for books, and he bought me ice cream. One weekend, two cheek kisses, three days of confusion.
(no this is not the time warp)
When we left off, I texted Fred after a great night out and said "If i didn't know any better, I'd say you like me........
Fred sees my text and raises me one: I'd say you like me too.
My response: Maybe I do.....
Which led to a long conversation. It took place in two parts.
The endgame:
"I like you and talking to you. You make me happy. I'm not in a place where I want to pursue a relationship right now. I want to keep seeing you and see where it goes."
My first thought, "What? Are you kidding?"
My second:"Why?" (Although he clearly outlined reasons why- job transition, unresolved ex issues)
My third: "I'm kinda not surprised."
My fourth: "I wish Taylor Swift was here right now to lead me in a song."
My fifth: "Where's the candy?"
The sixth thing I thought, back in adult mode: Hmm, honesty, it was quite refreshing. Not the #1 thing I wanted to hear, but direct and not game-ridden. Perhaps men aren't going the way of pagers, as several news outlets and blogs are recently claiming.
The End of Men- The Atlantic Monthly
Where Have All the Good Men Gone?- The Wall Street Journal
Why A Real Man's So Hard to Find? -The New York Post
Sex is Cheap- Slate
Although the 20-Nothings, who I aspire to be one day, offer a great analysis of boys, guys, and men, which I definitely recommend checking out. I've read it a lot lately and compared all the males I know to each of the categories.
Back to Fred....
I did see Fred, again. We enjoyed an afternoon at the mall. We tried on hats, we looked for books, and he bought me ice cream. One weekend, two cheek kisses, three days of confusion.
Playing With My Heart- Part 1
I don't know where to begin exactly. Clearly, it begins with the night my lady mojo was crushed, because last night had a bit of deja vu. Notwithstanding, we also have to consider this happened after Fred finally manned up and kissed me, and I haven't seen him since then.
Headed out to an arcade for game night with friends (including Fred), this time on my turf. We all hang out and get drinks. Here's where things get different- our conversation flows better, and we naturally go off to the bar together. He buys me a beer. My friend texts me and says she will keep the group away. We play several games, and he becomes my official ticket counter and folder. We rock the "Deal or No Deal' machine and I challenge him to skee ball- winning several skee ball horse races. He beats me once, just to prove he is a skee ball champ.
The gang rents a pool table. We become partners. For some reason, I am completely sucking at pool- I'm convinced this is a bad week for pool because I lost a lot on Tuesday night too. He is convinced I have been lying about my pool prowess. Fred is surprisingly good at pool, sitting on the table to sink shots. He's sending me flirty texts durign the games. He buys me another ddrink, but my id is at the pool counter. Finally the bartender verifies I am not 12 years old and gives me the drink.
We cash in tickets. Of course I have like 1,000 and all I want is some sweet tarts. I offer Fred the 100 or so tickets so he can get a tie dye Mets teddy bear. He promises me he'll give me tickets next time. I could care less about the tickets. I also swipe over 300 points so a friend and her boyfriend can get a bear to befriend their stuffed animal. I also absentmindedly pass him a purple sweet tart which is at the top of my candy. He looks confused for a moment.
Me: you said you like purple.
Him: Thanks! (pops purple sweet tart in his mouth).
Fred drove up with some friends, so a quite elaborate plan for him to walk me to the car gets thwarted by the largeness of the group and sleepiness (it was after 1:30 AM). The group walks me out and I drive them down to their car. Fred waves the bear in my face, giving me a cheekful of bear. I ask if he plans to hig me too. He leans over and hugs me, and gives a quick check kiss. I quickly cheek kiss as well, since his cheek is right there.
At home, I look at the texts he's been sending from the back of the car. I decide to be bold and text him that it seems like he likes me. As Ted Mosby from HIMYM says, nothing good happens after 2AM. To be continued.......
Headed out to an arcade for game night with friends (including Fred), this time on my turf. We all hang out and get drinks. Here's where things get different- our conversation flows better, and we naturally go off to the bar together. He buys me a beer. My friend texts me and says she will keep the group away. We play several games, and he becomes my official ticket counter and folder. We rock the "Deal or No Deal' machine and I challenge him to skee ball- winning several skee ball horse races. He beats me once, just to prove he is a skee ball champ.
The gang rents a pool table. We become partners. For some reason, I am completely sucking at pool- I'm convinced this is a bad week for pool because I lost a lot on Tuesday night too. He is convinced I have been lying about my pool prowess. Fred is surprisingly good at pool, sitting on the table to sink shots. He's sending me flirty texts durign the games. He buys me another ddrink, but my id is at the pool counter. Finally the bartender verifies I am not 12 years old and gives me the drink.
We cash in tickets. Of course I have like 1,000 and all I want is some sweet tarts. I offer Fred the 100 or so tickets so he can get a tie dye Mets teddy bear. He promises me he'll give me tickets next time. I could care less about the tickets. I also swipe over 300 points so a friend and her boyfriend can get a bear to befriend their stuffed animal. I also absentmindedly pass him a purple sweet tart which is at the top of my candy. He looks confused for a moment.
Me: you said you like purple.
Him: Thanks! (pops purple sweet tart in his mouth).
Fred drove up with some friends, so a quite elaborate plan for him to walk me to the car gets thwarted by the largeness of the group and sleepiness (it was after 1:30 AM). The group walks me out and I drive them down to their car. Fred waves the bear in my face, giving me a cheekful of bear. I ask if he plans to hig me too. He leans over and hugs me, and gives a quick check kiss. I quickly cheek kiss as well, since his cheek is right there.
At home, I look at the texts he's been sending from the back of the car. I decide to be bold and text him that it seems like he likes me. As Ted Mosby from HIMYM says, nothing good happens after 2AM. To be continued.......
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
What is Sexy?
The simple answer: I have no idea.
Like and Cosmo rader, I know there is a thin line between sexy and skanky. I also know that while Britney Spears can sing "Hold It Against Me" in a totally hot tone, I would be ridiculous doing the same.
So, back to square one. What is sexy?
For me, it's sexy when a guy plays a guitar. It's also sexy when he teases you a little (there is a fine line between a little sexy teasing and just being an ass), perhaps during an activity. On the same token, competition is important- light competition. Playing Skee Ball and kicking his ass- can be considered sexy, as long as you don't totally demolish him.
Speaking of sexy, kissing is quite sexy. Tonight's episode of Being Erica has a very sexy kissing dream sequence. And for a complete explanation of sexy kissing in the rain, look no further. A guy friend recently commented on one of my favorite songs, Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved," a song that's all about standing out in corners in pouring rain. Not quite kissing in the rain (see Taylor Swift songs for more), but his comment was "why would you stand on the corner in the rain?" Not only is kissing in the rain sexy, it is the ultimate girl dream.
Here's Why:
Naley's season 1 kiss in the rain on One Tree Hill, Paul finding Holly's cat and kissing in the rain in Breakfast at Tiffany's, and The Notebook are all prime examples of why kissing in the rain is hot. It's a little hard to explain, but there's something about being in tune with nature, with lips meeting and rain, plus the idea that eventually those wet clothes are going to have to be removed. In conclusion, rain kissing is only hot in warm (read: summer or spring) rains. There's nothign worst than feeling like you're going to catch penmonia whilst kissing in the outdoors.
Like and Cosmo rader, I know there is a thin line between sexy and skanky. I also know that while Britney Spears can sing "Hold It Against Me" in a totally hot tone, I would be ridiculous doing the same.
So, back to square one. What is sexy?
For me, it's sexy when a guy plays a guitar. It's also sexy when he teases you a little (there is a fine line between a little sexy teasing and just being an ass), perhaps during an activity. On the same token, competition is important- light competition. Playing Skee Ball and kicking his ass- can be considered sexy, as long as you don't totally demolish him.
Speaking of sexy, kissing is quite sexy. Tonight's episode of Being Erica has a very sexy kissing dream sequence. And for a complete explanation of sexy kissing in the rain, look no further. A guy friend recently commented on one of my favorite songs, Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved," a song that's all about standing out in corners in pouring rain. Not quite kissing in the rain (see Taylor Swift songs for more), but his comment was "why would you stand on the corner in the rain?" Not only is kissing in the rain sexy, it is the ultimate girl dream.
Here's Why:
Naley's season 1 kiss in the rain on One Tree Hill, Paul finding Holly's cat and kissing in the rain in Breakfast at Tiffany's, and The Notebook are all prime examples of why kissing in the rain is hot. It's a little hard to explain, but there's something about being in tune with nature, with lips meeting and rain, plus the idea that eventually those wet clothes are going to have to be removed. In conclusion, rain kissing is only hot in warm (read: summer or spring) rains. There's nothign worst than feeling like you're going to catch penmonia whilst kissing in the outdoors.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Good Things DO Come to Those Who Wait
After the crushing blow to my Lady Mojo a few weeks ago, I was really unsure of where I stood with Fred. He was still flirty, but I honestly doubted if he might have feelings for me. And by feelings, I mean ones of the "big kiss at the end of the movie" variety. We found ourselves in a somewhat familiar situation as before, after drinking with friends at a party and there were friends sleeping all over the place.
We stayed up talking until about 5am. He went to sleep on the couch. But, he left his phone in my room. I was about to pass the phone off when he knocked on the door to pick it up. He didn't want the phone to wake me up in the morning. He said he was falling off of the couch. I invited him to stay in my bed if he thought it would be more comfortable. He agreed. We laid there talking for a while.
And then HE KISSED ME! And the next day he wasn't all weird. I was mildly concerned it might have been a drunk impulse from him, but he said he was almost completely sober at the time and he knew what he was doing!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
We stayed up talking until about 5am. He went to sleep on the couch. But, he left his phone in my room. I was about to pass the phone off when he knocked on the door to pick it up. He didn't want the phone to wake me up in the morning. He said he was falling off of the couch. I invited him to stay in my bed if he thought it would be more comfortable. He agreed. We laid there talking for a while.
And then HE KISSED ME! And the next day he wasn't all weird. I was mildly concerned it might have been a drunk impulse from him, but he said he was almost completely sober at the time and he knew what he was doing!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
When I Get You Alone???
Let's suppose for a minute you meet a guy through mutual friends, several years ago. You continue to meet over the years. You went to college together, but you weren't friends then. But now you are. Very good friends. Before you can count, you have fallen for him. Hard. You talk about everything- except what this is. You feel like you're in a relationship with Fred^, but are you?
Here are the positive signs:
- He's flirty.
- He asks specific details about your day.
- He tells you about his day.
- He watches tv at the same time as you and discusses it.
- He sends you music you might like.
- He plays his guitar for you.
- He says he does not think you are a flake.
- He tells you about his past relationships.
- He texts absurd movie quotes. That you understand.
- He talks about his friends with you. Honestly.
- He makes some awkward conversation about not liking John Mayer, and then says "Well I have a live album and it's not too bad." (which you can live with)
- He invites you to hang out.
- He invites you to crash at his house when you are out late.
You agree to said invitation, after all it is late, and the friend you were supposed to stay with seems to have gone to sleep for the night. Then you get offered the futon. Then he says there's room in his bed. And you sleep. All you do is SLEEP.
And you don't know where you are now....... possibly more confused than before.
^Names have been changed to protect the confused.
Here are the positive signs:
- He's flirty.
- He asks specific details about your day.
- He tells you about his day.
- He watches tv at the same time as you and discusses it.
- He sends you music you might like.
- He plays his guitar for you.
- He says he does not think you are a flake.
- He tells you about his past relationships.
- He texts absurd movie quotes. That you understand.
- He talks about his friends with you. Honestly.
- He makes some awkward conversation about not liking John Mayer, and then says "Well I have a live album and it's not too bad." (which you can live with)
- He invites you to hang out.
- He invites you to crash at his house when you are out late.
You agree to said invitation, after all it is late, and the friend you were supposed to stay with seems to have gone to sleep for the night. Then you get offered the futon. Then he says there's room in his bed. And you sleep. All you do is SLEEP.
And you don't know where you are now....... possibly more confused than before.
^Names have been changed to protect the confused.
Friday, January 28, 2011
How do you know he likes you?
Beats us. This is why we are blogging.
Does he.....
1. Ask you about your day?
2. Send flirty texts?
3. Watch a movie with you, even though he is in a different city/state?
4. Send you music? - The 2000's version of a mix tape.
5. Talk to you until you go to sleep?
These, we believe, might be telltale signs that he likes you. Commence with love songs playlist.
Does he.....
1. Ask you about your day?
2. Send flirty texts?
3. Watch a movie with you, even though he is in a different city/state?
4. Send you music? - The 2000's version of a mix tape.
5. Talk to you until you go to sleep?
These, we believe, might be telltale signs that he likes you. Commence with love songs playlist.
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