I'm Taking Back Java's Apology to the Gents

Let me begin by saying I'm sure there are nice guys out there somewhere. In my experience, I've seen them. They date your friends sometimes and they're nice to you. But most of those princely looking dudes end up being frogs. My buddy Java recently wrote an apology on behalf of women to dudes because of the crazy advice Cosmo gives about "signs your man might be cheating," pointed out by Cracked.com.

But given my recent dealings (haha- as if adult men actually deal with their issues head-on), with dudes being shifty and LYING, I tend to think they have it coming- ball clamps and all.

For instance, the shifty Peter Florrick on CBS's "The Good Wife," (played by the endearing but almost un-loveable a-hole referred to as Mr. Big) not only cheated on his wife in a horrible scandal that sent him to jail and her struggling to provide for their kids, but he redeemed himself, plead for her to take him back, and now we find out the jerk had a one night thing with his lead investigator. Said investigator Kalinda has since then became one of his wife's closest friends and confidantes. That's messed up. It's great TV, but it's messed up.

Anyway back to magazine advice:
An article from The Gloss suggested that as a society we take female infidelity more seriously than male infidelity, almost like, o well it's a guy, we can't expect him to do any better. Well its not 1960 anymore- so let's get some perspective. Deciect and liying in relationships should always be NOT expected, and its not cool. So begin duped still hurts, regardless of gender. And ther duper should feel that pain. As the article suggests, men cheat more for sex and women cheat more for intimacy.

Fine, that sounds reasonable. But at the same time I have to bring up the fact that more and more dudes today are stuck in this unattractive, childish non-adult, Peter Pan mindset. This is not an excuse for cheating, but if I was dating a dude who was constantly acting like he was 12 instead of 24, and I met another guy who actually got up in the morning, went to a job, didn't spend hours playing video games, and called when he said he would, then I could see wanting to get out of the former relationship. On the complete other hand, immature guys seem to flock to younger girls - so they can be on he same level. (SEE FRED)

In a more "lets keep a less crazy perspective on cheating, but recognize its still bad" article, Marie Claire's resident dude blogger Rich presented "Signs He's Cheating" in February. Read this, not the Cosmo piece. Rich, who seems like a nice, normal guy, breaks it down for a guys side. But after that, feel free to go all Carrie Underwood on his car- its a lesson he may never forget.