Chivalry is Not Dead!

Just when I think Fred can't be any sweeter, he tells me about his Saturday night and his fforts to keep a creeper away from a friend. He says, I'm so tired, I was at the bar until 3, although I planned to leave even earlier.

He tells me how the band played one of my favorite songs, and then says he was leaving and a friend from work was trapped in a corner with a sketch dude. She mouthed "help me," and he came over and joined them for the rest of the night, keeping the creeper at a distance until said creeper's friend interceded about an hour later and pulled creeper away.

Sounds like he's a keeper.

The Cutest Text I've Ever Gotten

I was all prepared to blog again about what is sexy- part 2," which is going to become a weekly blog post. But on the way there, I got the cutest text ever from Fred. It read:

Grocery shopping with mother... saw capri sun, thought of you.

This was completely heart-melting. Recently Fred and I were up talking late at night and I busted out a capri sun to quench my thirst.

In the pre-relationship "he likes me, he likes me not" speigl, this is most definitely in the "He likes me" column.

How You Know It Was A Successful Hookup

You can fist bump in the morning and go back to normal.

A Ramble-y Post on Girl Power

No lie, I’m in a tres girl powery mood lately. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve just built up my circle of guy friends and am feeling like- to quote my dearest PipPepPop- “my lady mojo” is at an all around high for the first time in a while. Or maybe it’s the fact a rumor mongering bitch has declared me the newest lab skank, dating and hooking up with every male scientist within my grasp that isn’t gay or married (which wouldn’t be bad if I hooked up regularly or had gone on a date in the last three years). I’m all about the girl power lately.

I think the concept of “the Madonna and the Whore” has been discussed ad nauseum. You’re either the saint or the skank, and nary the twain shall meet. But what if they could? It’s always driven me nuts that there’s this double standard. I don’t consider myself a batshit crazy feminist, but if the boys can get their kicks, why can’t I?

Lately, I’ve been binging on old school fifties and sixties pop, and I came across this song that pretty much pissed me off. A catchy pop melody originally released by Dianne Renay in 1963, Please Don’t Talk To The Lifeguard was covered by numerous other women of the era.

The story here? A girl goes to the beach during the summer, where apparently the lifeguard is smokin’. She wants to talk to him- but alas! There’s a sign forbidding her from speaking to him. So how to meet him? No, she won’t wait for him after work in the parking lot, or be clever and buy him a gift wrapped bottle of sunscreen. I think the lyrics say it best.

“Guess I’ll swim way out into the see, and then I’ll meet him when he rescues me.”

Girlfriend. Look at your life. What are you doing? (And seriously, why are you wearing long pants to the beach? Damn that'll be uncomfortable in the sand!)

So ladies, what do I have to say from this ramblyness? This spring, go for it. Don’t be afraid of being the whore. Or the Madonna. Or the lab skank. Go for what you want. The important people in your life- your family (ok, maybe don't tell your mother...), your friends want you to be happy. And fuck what other people think. Just don't use pseudo-romance as a way to fill the emptiness. That's when it gets skanky.

It's only the start of 2011, get the hell out of the house and have some fun.

But please, don’t drown yourself. Have one of your friends shove him in the water and save him yourself. That’ll leave a lasting impression.

What is Sexy?

The simple answer: I have no idea.

Like and Cosmo rader, I know there is a thin line between sexy and skanky. I also know that while Britney Spears can sing "Hold It Against Me" in a totally hot tone, I would be ridiculous doing the same.

So, back to square one. What is sexy?

For me, it's sexy when a guy plays a guitar. It's also sexy when he teases you a little (there is a fine line between a little sexy teasing and just being an ass), perhaps during an activity. On the same token, competition is important- light competition. Playing Skee Ball and kicking his ass- can be considered sexy, as long as you don't totally demolish him.

Speaking of sexy, kissing is quite sexy. Tonight's episode of Being Erica has a very sexy kissing dream sequence. And for a complete explanation of sexy kissing in the rain, look no further. A guy friend recently commented on one of my favorite songs, Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved," a song that's all about standing out in corners in pouring rain. Not quite kissing in the rain (see Taylor Swift songs for more), but his comment was "why would you stand on the corner in the rain?" Not only is kissing in the rain sexy, it is the ultimate girl dream.

Here's Why:
Naley's season 1 kiss in the rain on One Tree Hill, Paul finding Holly's cat and kissing in the rain in Breakfast at Tiffany's, and The Notebook are all prime examples of why kissing in the rain is hot. It's a little hard to explain, but there's something about being in tune with nature, with lips meeting and rain, plus the idea that eventually those wet clothes are going to have to be removed. In conclusion, rain kissing is only hot in warm (read: summer or spring) rains. There's nothign worst than feeling like you're going to catch penmonia whilst kissing in the outdoors.

Good Things DO Come to Those Who Wait

After the crushing blow to my Lady Mojo a few weeks ago, I was really unsure of where I stood with Fred. He was still flirty, but I honestly doubted if he might have feelings for me. And by feelings, I mean ones of the "big kiss at the end of the movie" variety. We found ourselves in a somewhat familiar situation as before, after drinking with friends at a party and there were friends sleeping all over the place.

We stayed up talking until about 5am. He went to sleep on the couch. But, he left his phone in my room. I was about to pass the phone off when he knocked on the door to pick it up. He didn't want the phone to wake me up in the morning. He said he was falling off of the couch. I invited him to stay in my bed if he thought it would be more comfortable. He agreed. We laid there talking for a while.

And then HE KISSED ME! And the next day he wasn't all weird. I was mildly concerned it might have been a drunk impulse from him, but he said he was almost completely sober at the time and he knew what he was doing!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

COMMENTARY: 17's guide to texting boys

Like pickup lines, texts can crush a blossoming relationship. So I turned to a teen magazine for some advice to hook a boy:

The worst:
I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin "me" ☺
- Could a girl sending this seem more desperate?

It's 10:10! Time to make a wish
- Are you texting a girl? An 11-year old girl? Guys don't respond well to this kind of stuff.

Uh oh, I think my <3 went missing. Did you steal it?
- His likely answer: No. Cray cray girl alert!

Let's refer to Anshton Kitcher's December article about texting killing romance. Ironically written by a guy who tweets 100 times a day, he makes a good point. Affection is truly better expressed through speech, or hey maybe a nice letter. There's a reason they're called "love letters." 160 characters cannot express enough.