No lie, I’m in a tres girl powery mood lately. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve just built up my circle of guy friends and am feeling like- to quote my dearest PipPepPop- “my lady mojo” is at an all around high for the first time in a while. Or maybe it’s the fact a rumor mongering bitch has declared me the newest lab skank, dating and hooking up with every male scientist within my grasp that isn’t gay or married (which wouldn’t be bad if I hooked up regularly or had gone on a date in the last three years). I’m all about the girl power lately.
I think the concept of “the Madonna and the Whore” has been discussed ad nauseum. You’re either the saint or the skank, and nary the twain shall meet. But what if they could? It’s always driven me nuts that there’s this double standard. I don’t consider myself a batshit crazy feminist, but if the boys can get their kicks, why can’t I?
Lately, I’ve been binging on old school fifties and sixties pop, and I came across this song that pretty much pissed me off. A catchy pop melody originally released by Dianne Renay in 1963, Please Don’t Talk To The Lifeguard was covered by numerous other women of the era.
The story here? A girl goes to the beach during the summer, where apparently the lifeguard is smokin’. She wants to talk to him- but alas! There’s a sign forbidding her from speaking to him. So how to meet him? No, she won’t wait for him after work in the parking lot, or be clever and buy him a gift wrapped bottle of sunscreen. I think the lyrics say it best.
“Guess I’ll swim way out into the see, and then I’ll meet him when he rescues me.”
Girlfriend. Look at your life. What are you doing? (And seriously, why are you wearing long pants to the beach? Damn that'll be uncomfortable in the sand!)
So ladies, what do I have to say from this ramblyness? This spring, go for it. Don’t be afraid of being the whore. Or the Madonna. Or the lab skank. Go for what you want. The important people in your life- your family (ok, maybe don't tell your mother...), your friends want you to be happy. And fuck what other people think. Just don't use pseudo-romance as a way to fill the emptiness. That's when it gets skanky.
It's only the start of 2011, get the hell out of the house and have some fun.
But please, don’t drown yourself. Have one of your friends shove him in the water and save him yourself. That’ll leave a lasting impression.
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