I have to preface this list by explaining that Java and I just had a little prezzie exchange and we both got each other Mindy Kaling's Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other concerns), and we love Mindy. We totally want to be her friend. In one of her chapters, she gives a list called "Guys Need to Do Almost Nothing to Be Great." I felt so inspired to share my own list based on personal experiences and observations.
DO call/text/e-mail/send a flare 1x a day...
If you do not live with your lady paramour. It doesn't have to be a big thing. A simple, "Hey! I'm alive" will do, although "thinking of you" is always preferred.
DO try some outgoing things
One karaoke song won't kill you. A duet could be fun.Ten songs might make you a jerk. And always refrain from stealing the mic from others.
DO answer as honestly (and sometimes tactfully) as possible
You will know when this sort of situation arises.
DO agree to go with her to that concert/watch that movie
Dirty Dancing is a classic. When you see the hungry eyes scene, you will understand why Baby needs to leave the corner. She will appreciate you being there during the sweet, slow, love ballad. You will get back tenfold what effort you put into these thoughtful things, or as my friend said at the end of a John Mayer concert, "I bet a lot of babies will be made tonight." Anybody got a 3 and a half year old? I rest my case.
DO make an effort to meet/socialize with her friends
If the friends do not approve you or see that you make her happy, things are headed for a Gossip-girl like catastrophe. You know what I mean-hair pulling, yelling, public deceit, crashing into fountains. This can all be avoided if we play nice.
Don't spend all your time doing impressions/talking in weird voices
I'm not dating Sacha Baron Cohen for this very reason. Being funny is important. Having a normal conversation is more important.
Don't follow her around when she's pissed at you
This applies to all female relationships. She will only be more mad that you can't leave her alone. Let her go talk out the stupid thing(s) you did (leaving the toilet seat up, hitting on her sister, wearing a speedo to her family BBQ- dude- really?) and let her tell you when she is ready to address you.
Think carefully. Don't be a smartass. Until next time!
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Middle School Dating
Remember in middle school when someone liked someone else, and all their friends tried to push the couple together?
Here's a little ancedote.
Fifth grade: my best guy friend Tommy^ and one of my best girl friends, Gina^, liked each other. I, naturally as a born romantic, asissted in getting them together. Gina sometimes came over to my house so Tommy (who lived next door) could come hang out with us. They were cute. They dated on and off until 9th grade. Now sadly I can tell you they didn't stay together forever. But they did remian friends in high school. Gina is actually getting married to another guy.
Now flash forward to your twenties.
Here's the shocker. NOTHING has changed. Dating is like middle school all over again. There's still the endless messages and endless analyzing of those messages with your friends, although its gone from ims to ims and texts now. Plus since the invention of Facebook and Twitter and all those other social networking things, you can now torture yourself with analyzing wall posts, status updates, and messages from another girl who may or not be "just a friend."
Then comes the in-person meetings.
It starts with a group event. It's always a group event. You orchestrate a whole big thing, forcing friends to come "in case it gets awkward" and so you can show off your breezy personality in a warm and supportive setting. Then your friends (who are all in on it) decide to take the situation into the own heands with one mission- get you two together. It's the subtleties- "Oh Gina likes dogs too. You two should discuss dogs (wink)." Then it moves to "Why don't you sit next to Tommy, I need to sit on the small single chair because my back hurts." But you appreciate it, love it, and are relieved that now you're sitting next to the person of your affections.
Now sadly I can tell you Gina and Tommy didn't stay together forever. But they did remain friends in high school. Gina is actually getting married to another guy soon.
^Names have been changed.
Here's a little ancedote.
Fifth grade: my best guy friend Tommy^ and one of my best girl friends, Gina^, liked each other. I, naturally as a born romantic, asissted in getting them together. Gina sometimes came over to my house so Tommy (who lived next door) could come hang out with us. They were cute. They dated on and off until 9th grade. Now sadly I can tell you they didn't stay together forever. But they did remian friends in high school. Gina is actually getting married to another guy.
Now flash forward to your twenties.
Here's the shocker. NOTHING has changed. Dating is like middle school all over again. There's still the endless messages and endless analyzing of those messages with your friends, although its gone from ims to ims and texts now. Plus since the invention of Facebook and Twitter and all those other social networking things, you can now torture yourself with analyzing wall posts, status updates, and messages from another girl who may or not be "just a friend."
Then comes the in-person meetings.
It starts with a group event. It's always a group event. You orchestrate a whole big thing, forcing friends to come "in case it gets awkward" and so you can show off your breezy personality in a warm and supportive setting. Then your friends (who are all in on it) decide to take the situation into the own heands with one mission- get you two together. It's the subtleties- "Oh Gina likes dogs too. You two should discuss dogs (wink)." Then it moves to "Why don't you sit next to Tommy, I need to sit on the small single chair because my back hurts." But you appreciate it, love it, and are relieved that now you're sitting next to the person of your affections.
Now sadly I can tell you Gina and Tommy didn't stay together forever. But they did remain friends in high school. Gina is actually getting married to another guy soon.
^Names have been changed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)