On Elaborate Weddings and the Disney Proposal

So I’ve always considered myself the no-nonsese type. Especially when it comes to weddings and that whole shebang [she-bang?]. I’ve never quite understood Bridezillas and Platinum Weddings and all those crazy bride shows. To me, a wedding isn't a day for the bride to be a bitch to everyone and look fabulous. It's a day to celebrate you as a couple. So yeah. That's my piece.

To say the least, it is very rare that some sort of elaborate engagement/wedding/wedding dance set up really gets me all emotional. In general, I find them pretty trite and cloy and just trying too hard. Most of the time it looks like the bride just wants extra attention. Example: my roomate recently was a bridesmaid at a wedding with a flash mob. Nay, a Lady Gaga flashmob. Which, btw, the bride did NOT tell the groom was happening. Needless to say, he walked out of the room embarassed.

But there is the rare exception to the rule. I can actually count these exceptions on one hand. There are two, out there on the internets, that literally make me go “I should hate this, but GOD future invisa-husband, this is the new standard.” For some reason, they aren't cheesy. They're... dare I say it?.... kind of romantic. And in the tradition of "things that make my bitter heart fuzzy," I had to share the latest this week[end].

The first is a couple of years old. Known as the "JK Wedding Entrance Dance," the bridal party, along with the bride and groom, dance down the aisle to Chris Brown's Forever. The first time I saw it, I totally burst into tears. I wish I could explain why. But there's something in the video- maybe the fact that everyone just seems so genuinely happy to be there- that just gets me every time. That, and there's an adorable old grandma in the second row, and who doesn't love an adorable little old lady. Fo sho!

Besides that, this video blew up when it was first posted. It spawned a sequel "JK Divorce Dance" and was parodied by The Office for Jim and Pam's wedding [another one that gets me every friggen time- especially the last thirty seconds!]. I mean shit. How awesome is it to have your friggen wedding parodied by a hit TV show?

The second vid just showed up on the internets a few days ago. It's a flashmob (yes, I know) in Downtown Disney set up by a guy who wants to propose to his girlfriend. He and his friends are dancers, and so they set it to Bruno Mars's "Marry You."

In this one, it's not really the flash mob that gets me. It's her reaction. The minute she sees him jump in and start dancing, and she clearly knows something is up. I just welled up at it.

So final thoughts of this absurdly random post [I'm honestly a horendous blogger]? It's not necessarily go big or go home. Go big on the sentiment [yes, those words are leaving my mouth... fingers?]. If it's not there- if it's clear your just trying to shoot to youtube fame, people will know. Genuine emotion is the winner here. At least in the case of making my bitter heart a bit more fuzzy.

Don't Call Me Sentimental

But he's got me binging on Taylor Swift and losing sleep. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

~This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the storyline ends~

Love Songs: Smooth Vs. Sleazy- 80's Power Ballads

In a recent car drive, my friend and I were discussing what cheezeball song lyrics we would take seriously in real life if a guy said them to us and which ones we would flat out deny. here are some thoughts:

Don Henley: Boys of Summer
Grade: Smooth
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
after the boys of summer have gone

Foreigner: I Wanna Know What Love Is
Grade: Sleazy, most likely to be used in tawdry montage of an 80's movie
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me

REO Speedwagon: Keep on Loving You
Grade: Borderline obsessive, sleazy
I don't wanna eat, I don't wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on loving you

Bon Jovi: In These Arms
Grade: Super smooth
I'd hold you, I'd need you,
I'd get down on my knees for you,
and make everything alright,
if you were in these arms tonight

DTR: Thoughts About Defining the Relationship

Well the uncertainty of "will we or won''t we" can hang in the air for a long while and sustain any real (or imagined, or imaged potential) relationship, there comes a time to define the relationship. And as most of us come to realize, a time to move the hell on from the person sucking your life energy and spare thoughts. Some of us will realize this quicker than others, as indicated by this handy dandy pie chart:

Chances are, the person that lets you think its complicated, wants to keep it No Strings Attached, or my other favorite, Friends With Benefits. As I further thought about the complications from getting friendly with friends, I have some thoughts on a great blog post by Thought Catalog, How to Define Your Ambiguous Relationship. Having lived through ambiguity, every text, "Saw Capri suns and thought of you," every ambiguous Facebook post, "You cheated at Candyland," leads you further down a path into ambiguity, and further into the multitude of awkward zones. And before you know it, you're so caught up in this, "What are we, does he care that way about me?"-ness, that you are about one tough friend hiding your phone away from drunk calling with the message, “Arrrrre you muh fuckin’ boyfrien’ or whaaaaaaaat, jesus,” as Joanna from Thought Catalog so articulately put it.

And when you reach that stage, there is a good chance any chance of relationship potential will be zapped by your blooming impatience, like in MV's new show Awkward. The thought catalog outlines these basic steps to defining a relationship (with my comments):

1. Obsess. (Telling everyone, even people you haven't talked to in years, this might be going somewhere. Talking to any male that will listen for advice on "how to handle" him).

2. Brainstorm. (How to run into him, events where you can be in close physical contact).

3. Befriend the person’s friends. (Even if they're hella weird. Attempt to pump them for information).

4. Balk. (Give him some "space" to figure things out").

5. Pull the trigger. (Including asking friend what he thinks of you, only to have said friend get hit on by guy (true story)).

6. Backpedal. (Tell everyone he needs space. Tell yourself he is an idiot, but so lovable).

7. Build resentment.(Over-analyze everything he says in the opposite direction. There's no way he went to the gym 5 times this week and couldn't send you a text. Really hate him. Watch movies with endings where everyone is miserable, and laugh while doing so).

8. Take another pass. (Tell him he is an asshole for even talking to you in the first place. Reprimand him for breaking your trust. Then say you will give him one last chance).

9. Cross your fingers. (Go out for a weekend with the girls. Pump the Beyonce!)

And here you have a chart version of the love/relationship cycle (assuming you actually make it past the DTR chat stage):

And my advice to avoid DTR, be upfront and honest. It's all too easy to play your cards close to the vest, not let him know if you clearly like him, just in case he doesn't feel the same. But being honest early on (don't be the girl he goes to to talk about other girls), and finding out where he stands will save much ambiguity and heartache.